Credit Cards

When most people think of credit cards they think of high interest rates, annual fees, and lots of expenses. What if I told you that you can actually earn money with a credit card? Would you believe me?

What I am about to tell you was originally told to me about 9 years ago by a woman on the phone who was trying to convince me to accept her offer of an American Express card. I declined her offer as I didn’t think I needed a credit card at the time and the annual fee for an American Express card is very high.

But what she said got me thinking, so I ended up getting a VISA card from my bank. The way I use my credit card doesn’t cost me any money and I actually get money back once a year.

I know it sounds too good to be true, but I have been using my credit card this way for 7 years and it actually makes me money. The reason I can make money is that my bank offers cashback on all my credit card purchases. Once a year I receive 1% of my annual spending back on my VISA card.

So now I put all my purchases (well, almost all as some places like McDonalds don’t take credit cards) on my VISA card. I then pay off the outstanding balance each month when it is due, thus avoiding the finance charge.

How can I do this? It’s simple. I keep all my income in my bank account and by the time the monthly credit card bill is due I have enough money to pay it. Of course there is still money owing on the card but it isn’t due until the following month.

In fact I have up to 2 months to pay for some of my purchases. How is that possible? Well, the items I put on my VISA at the beginning of the month go on the bill I receive the following month which isn’t due until the end of that month.

For example, if I buy something on March 3rd on my VISA it will appear on the bill I receive the following month which is due at the end of April. Therefore I don’t have to take any money out of my bank account until nearly two months after I made my purchase! So during those two months my money sits in my bank account earning me interest.

Of course this only works if you are good at budgeting. Some people go crazy when they get a credit card and buy lots of things they don’t really need. I never go over or even close to my credit limit. I stay well within my monthly budget, which I worked out long before I had a credit card.

Occasionally I indulge and buy something I haven’t budgeted for, but I make sure I have enough money (or will have) to pay for it when the bill is due. You have to have good self control to use your credit card to your advantage. It’s also helpful for those unexpected expenses, like car repairs, which you haven’t budgeted for.

I have my VISA through the National Bank which offers cashback on the credit card. Some other cards have similar schemes or offer points which can be redeemed for gifts, prizes or discounts. In fact, VISA and MasterCard quite often have competitions which you are entered into automatically each time you use your card.

Since I receive cashback on my purchases I make it a point to put everything I can on my credit card. On average I get about $160 back each year which more than covers the $25 annual fee. I also have an instant record of all my spending so I can keep track of my budget.

I’ve even setup monthly payments for certain companies to go directly to my VISA which saves me the hassle and expense of writing and posting a cheque. My life insurance, electric bill, and magazine subscriptions are a few examples.

It may sound amazing, but I am sure I’m not the only one taking full advantage of my credit card. Using and paying off my VISA regularly creates good credit which is always useful when you need to get a loan for something big like a new car or a house.

So now do you believe me when I say you can earn money using your credit card?

Harry Potter Mania

As most people know, today was the worldwide release of the final book in the Harry Potter series. Up until 3 years ago I was not even aware of Harry Potter and his wizard friends. It wasn’t until I accidentally won a family excursion on the “Hogwarts Express” through a radio station promotion that I learned about this fantasy world.

I had to look up Hogwarts Express on the internet to find out what it was as I had no idea. Then I rented the video of the first movie so we could get in character for the train ride. I made a Hedwig costume for my youngest (2 years old at the time), my oldest dressed as Hermione and I threw a costume together from my old Halloween stuff to make myself look like Madame Hooch, complete with broomstick.

It seemed a little silly at the time, but when we saw how much the other people and radio personalities were dressed up we didn’t feel so awkward. In fact during the train ride we won a copy of the first movie on DVD (Harry Potter and The Philosophers Stone), a music CD, a t-shirt and lots of lollies and snacks because we looked so good. It was a fun morning for our whole family. Little did I know it was the start of an obsession for all of us.

My youngest loved the DVD movie and special features. My oldest began reading the books, with my encouragement, and has read all 6 books twice in the last 3 years. And I made a point of buying the next 3 movie DVDs (Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire). We even have 3 computer games and 2 PS2 games of Harry Potter’s world. However we never owned the books – I made my daughter check them out from the library instead of buying them.

And now today I was standing in line with my daughters at our local The Warehouse to be one of the first people to get our hands on Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. My daughter’s father purchased a pre-order coupon for the book which meant she was guaranteed to get a copy at a special price which could be picked up any time this week. However The Warehouse was giving away hats to the first 100 people to buy the book in each of their stores, so we made a point of being there today.

That’s how I found myself in a queue this morning, 10 minutes before the official release time hoping to get a free hat. The things I do for a freebie! LOL! The time went by quickly as I saw some friends and then got chatting with a couple young ladies in the queue behind us.

My youngest asked for a hat as well but they were only being given out with a book purchase. So we had one hat to share amongst the two girls. While we were chatting with a friend at the entrance after scoring our book one of the young ladies I’d been talking to in line came over and gave my youngest her free hat. She said she didn’t really want it and overhead my youngest ask for a hat. It was so nice to see the friendliness and good will everyone had at this momentous occasion.

Coinciding with the release of the book is the latest Harry Potter movie, The Order of the Phoenix, which many of the people in line were talking about. Most had already seen the movie and can hardly wait for the next two movies. Fortunately for us we will be seeing the movie soon as well.

I told my children that we would see the movie when it came out on DVD. However we will be seeing it sooner as we won a double movie pass. The WhatNow TV show had a competition earlier in the month and both my girls entered it. They had to make a “Harry Potter” wand and send it in. There were 350 runners up who would win a double movie pass, tattoos, and an official hat. A few days ago we received a package of those prizes, although the hat is too big for my girls to wear and even too big for my head!

So we are in the midst of Harry Potter mania which will continue for some time as we can’t use our movie pass until August. I think it will only take a few days for my daughter to read this final book but I know she will re-read it many times. I know many adults who are just as fanatical about Harry Potter as the children. And who knows, maybe one day I will get around to reading this famous magical series. Although I prefer to watch the movies!

Kid's Clubs

My last post was about joining clubs to receive freebies and information relevant to what you are interested in. This one is similar but dedicated to children. I know many of my readers are parents (I know this as most are my family and friends in the USA) so I thought I’d give you tips about getting stuff free for your kids.

I have joined my two girls up to many kid's clubs over the years. Some have been online memberships only (access to fun sites and games) and others have been memberships to certain stores or eateries. But all have been free and allow my kids to receive or do fun stuff.

Just last week I signed them up for the Video Ezy kids club and they each received a coupon for a free new release video (valued at $8). It didn’t cost me anything and only took a few minutes of my time. Now they will “get awesome offers every time you come to Video Ezy.” There is even a secret code to access a Kids’ Club page on the Video Ezy website “for loads of cool stuff including competitions, new movies and gossip about your favourite movie stars!”

Wow! Isn’t the internet incredible? All this free stuff and entertainment only a click away. I wish I had this cool tool when I was a kid. However, there is almost too much to choose from these days. My kids are members of so many internet sites that they can’t possible visit them all in one sitting. They usually have a look and a play on a website when they first sign up and then forget about it for a while – at least until they receive an email from the site wishing them a happy birthday or reminding them about a competition.

Other clubs they are members of allow them free meals or snacks, birthday gifts, discounts, competition entries, free products, free downloads, online games, and the list goes on. It’s a great time to be a kid!

Here’s a list of some of the clubs my kids are members of and (where applicable) a shortcut to the site so you can sign your kids up as well. I make sure the websites are appropriate for my children’s age and keep an eye on them when they are online.

1. Westfield – kids get a free gift for their birthday (this year it is a child’s movie ticket)
2. Spotlight – kids get an introductory package which includes pencils, a colouring book, stickers, and craft tips
3. Agent Ani – environmental website with “agent” assignments for the kids to complete to earn points for freebies and competitions (membership is open worldwide)
4. Cookie Bear Club – online “clubhouse” with lots of fun activities and competitions
5. WhatNow – TV2 program site with lots of interesting things and competitions
6. Valentines – kids eat free with an adult and competitions
7. Denny’s – kids eat free with a paying adult
8. Nick TV – online site for the Nickelodeon TV channel with interesting stuff and competitions
9. Texta Kids Club – get a free gift when you join and lots of creative ideas
10. Raxi Maxi Kids Club – This “Gardening Mates Club” is for children who are interested in growing things

This is just a few of the many clubs that kids can join. Most child-friendly websites have some sort of club for kids. Looking at my daughters’ list of Favourites on Internet Explorer I see Disney, Barbie, Yu-Gi-Oh, Neopets, Trollz, Cocopops, Treehouse Fun, Funky Friends, Noodolbot, Tamatown, Winx Club, That’s the Story, Holly Hobbie, Runescape, and Polly Pocket.

That’s just a handful of the many different clubs that kids can join. So the next time your child is Bored or wants something for free, just sign them up for a kid’s club. It won’t cost you anything and the benefits are unbelievable!

Free Clubs and Newsletters

Along with entering competitions I have become addicted to joining free clubs and newsletters. Many of the comps I enter require you to subscribe to their email newsletter or have an option to tick whether you want to join.

I find many of these newsletters quite useful for letting me know about upcoming events and sales. I even receive the odd discount or freebie through them.

Most times I join a club that interests me or offers something free for joining. It doesn’t take much of my time to join – simply filling out a form – and since it is free I’ve got nothing to lose.

Some of the benefits I’ve received from being in a club or joining a newsletter list are:

1. Birthday gifts or discounts
2. Free sample products, such as coffee or snacks
3. Discount coupons
4. Everyday VIP discounts when I show my membership card
5. Special events like member’s only nights or first option to purchase products
6. Competitions
7. Earning free products

I have joined many clubs over the years and I still enjoy benefits from most of them. Those that I lost interest in, or didn’t receive the benefits I wanted, I simply opted out. That can be as easy as an email or phone call to cancel the membership.

The free clubs I am currently enjoying benefits from are:

• Foodtown OneCard
• Whitcoulls
• ITM Priority Card
• The Film Squad
• Spotlight VIP Club
• Doubleday Book Club VIP
• Kidspot
• Whiskas
• The Craft Depot
• OurFreeStuff
• View Auckland
• Mitre 10

If you have particular interests try searching the web to find a club to join. You may find VIP memberships at many of the places you regularly shop. If not, try asking the manager if there is a newsletter to keep you up to date.

New clubs spring up all the time so keep your eyes open and let me know what you find.

Free Firewood

With the New Zealand winter upon us I have been burning a lot of wood to keep the house warm. I know most people buy firewood and have it delivered before the winter begins, however I have never paid for firewood since living in New Zealand.

For two years I used wood from a felled tree in my back yard. This year I am burning wood from old pallets. My friend dropped off some broken up pallets last summer and I stored them in my garage. I am now cutting the bigger pieces up with an electric saw to make them fireplace size.

Of course I know a lot of people don’t have friends like mine who will drop wood at your doorstep, so I have listed some other ways you can get free firewood.

1) Old Pallets
Many companies have old pallets that they just throw away. You may see some piled up at various sites as you drive around. Approach the company manager and ask what they do with their old pallets. They may be very happy for you to take them away instead of them paying someone else to dispose of them. But beware, not all pallets are rubbish. Some companies pay a deposit for the pallet and get that refunded when it is returned. So don’t just go around taking pallets without asking.

2) Newspaper Ads
Read the ad section of your local newspaper. There may be an advertisement for free pallets or old wood. You just need to go pick it up. Who knows, you may even gain an ongoing source of wood.

3) Offcuts
Many construction sites have offcuts of wood they give away. I get wood offcuts from a local furniture company. They have a bin outside their building in Pukekohe where they throw all the little bits of wood they can’t use. I usually give this to my kids for their woodworking table. However it is really good for kindling as it is kiln-dried and small.

4) Advertise
You may wish to advertise in your local paper, or through flyers, that you want wood. If you are willing to pick it up many people might just take you up on the offer. We have many local newspapers which allow free advertising.

5) Word of Mouth
Let people know you are looking for free firewood. That’s how I got the delivery of pallets from my friend. Most people are quite willing to help others out for free, especially if they can get rid of some old wood they don’t want.

6) Garden Waste
When you or your neighbours trim their trees and bushes don’t throw the wood away. Keep it for firewood and kindling. It may be too “green” to use this year but it will be great for a fire next year. Plus you’ll save the cost of disposing the green waste.

7) Tree Felling
With the horrendous windy weather New Zealand has just had I know there are lots of fallen trees around. If you don’t have any on your property maybe you can help a neighbour clear their trees and score some free wood at the same time. Most people don’t have the room to store all the wood they get when chopping up a full grown tree.

8) Demolition
If you know of a demolition site you may be able to get some free wood there. Most people don’t reuse the wood when they demolish a building so you may be able to take it off their hands for free. Just be careful that you don’t burn treated or painted wood. The fumes from the chemicals can be dangerous.

9) Christmas Trees
Yes I know Christmas was 7 months ago and we still have 5 months until the next one, but this is something to think about. Every year we buy a real Christmas tree and I save it to use for kindling the following winter. By the time the cold weather rolls around the pine branches are nice and dry. It also saves me the expense of throwing it away.

10) Inorganic Collection
Many areas have an inorganic collection day. I’m sure you’ve probably seen the piles of rubbish sitting in front of the houses in these areas. You may find some very good bits of wood from old furniture, broken toys, or scrap wood in these piles. As it is intended for the dump you would be saving the rubbish man some trouble by taking the wood for your fire.

So try these ways to keep yourself warm this winter and let me know if you have any other ideas.

Remember when you clean out your fireplace that the ash is very good for the garden. You can sprinkle it directly on the plants or mix it into the soil. However if you are burning pallets or other wood with nails in it, then you cannot use the ash on the garden unless you sift out all the metal bits.

Does Size Matter?

Yesterday I was doing some Mystery Shops. The nice thing about that job is it gives me an excuse to go to the shopping mall more often than I usually do.

While I was “working” I bought some warm clothes for me and my daughter, as the New Zealand winter has finally shone its chilly side. Of course I began looking at the sale items as I am always trying to save.

I was at Kmart and there were many discounted clothes throughout the store. The racks were full of mismatched items of various sizes as one would expect since many customers put things back where they don’t belong.

So I browsed around the women’s clothing area looking for warm pants and sweaters. I found several items but was quite surprised at the size variation as I held the clothes up to measure against my body. I then took what I had found to the dressing room to make sure they fit.

I was shocked to find that all the clothes fit me just fine, even though they varied in size from 10 to 14. Normally I wear a size 8 or 10, which in American sizes would be equivalent to a size 2 or 4. I know sizing varies country to country and have even found that many Asian-made items are smaller than the tag says, but I have never bought a size 14 piece of clothing before.

While I was looking around I found several children’s size 6 pants that looked big enough to fit my 10 year old daughter. It was hard to believe that the clothes were sized so small. They were obviously too big for a normal 6 year old to wear. I wondered if my mind was playing tricks on me and that maybe I couldn’t remember how big my daughter was.

However one good thing about having two daughters is that if the clothes don’t fit the older one then they will eventually fit the younger one. So I decided to take the risk and buy the size 6 pants for her.

I wasn’t too concerned about fit as the price of the clothes is what I really look at. I got a fabulous deal on these items – one of my tops only cost $3.50 and it was originally priced at $30. Wow, what a savings! I ended up spending $114.50 for $240 worth of clothes. That’s a 48% discount!

When I got home I had my eldest try on the size 6 clothes and they fit her just fine. I was amazed. Normally she wears a children’s size 8 or 9 as the size for kids clothes usually coincides with their age (she just turned 10 a few weeks ago).

After she tried on her new clothes I showed her my new ones and then removed the price tags. As I was taking tags off the size 12 hooded top I discovered it had a “kidurable” tag which is Kmart’s guarantee for children’s clothing. I took a closer look at the label in the top and discovered it was a boy’s size 12!

I then found out that the two size 14 pants I had bought were girl’s sizes. That explains why they fit me – they weren’t adult sizes. However it made me concerned to think a 12 or 14 year old child would be wearing such large clothes.

I know I am small but I would never think I was the size of a teenager! What is the world coming to if kids are that big at that young an age? On the brighter side Kmart guarantees (kidurable) those clothes will not wear out before they are outgrown, otherwise they will replace them. I think the odds are in my favour on that one!


This photo shows me holding the adult size 10 pants next to my 10 year old daughter holding the girl’s size 14 pants. They are the same size. If my daughter is big enough to wear my pants in four years time I will be shocked.

Are the manufacturers getting the sizes wrong or are we growing bigger children? What do you think? Maybe the next time you go shopping you should look in the children’s department. You may find some good deals and more fashionable clothing as well!

Free Trials

Another great “try before you buy” option is a free trial. However you usually need a major credit card to participate and many of these “trials” can be deceptive. Make sure you understand the length of the trial and the terms. Sometimes you need to pay the return postage or notify the company in writing if you want to end the trial.

I signed up to MovieShack on a 2-week free trial which was great. I got three DVDs at a time to view at my leisure -- no late fees or return date. When the trial finished I was scheduled to be signed up for the $39.95 monthly rate (middle-level) which would be charged directly to my credit card. I read the fine print and change my membership to the $29.95 level one day before the free trial ended.

I am still a member of that website and enjoy watching lots of DVDs each week. I even did a 2-week free trial with Fatso (MovieShack’s competitor). I ended my Fatso membership when the free trial finished and therefore got 2-weeks of DVD rentals (about 6) for nothing.

I even signed up for a free one-year membership of an American Express card in order to get the bonus AA reward points. I made sure I cancelled the card before the year was up so I didn’t have to pay the annual membership fee.

Other free trials I have participated in were magazine subscriptions, book clubs, DVD collections, and informational card series. If I found I wasn’t interested or couldn’t afford the cost of these products I would simply cancel my membership and usually keep the free incentive gift.

Many software programs are available for a free trial as well. Sometimes you download a sample program with limited abilities and sometimes you receive a disk in the mail which you can use for a certain number of days. This is a great way to find out if the program is the right one for you. Many electronic games also come with free trials or demos to entice you to buy more.

If you are not sure the product is right for you then ask for a free trial. Many companies are so confident that you will love their product that they offer a free trial or money-back guarantee. Just be sure you understand the terms before agreeing to the trial!

Borrowing

Borrowing is a wonderful option for reusable things such as movies, books, and toys. You can often get lots of different things depending on who you know, but remember it is not for keeps!

The most obvious place to borrow is your local library. My eldest daughter has read all the Harry Potter books twice but we don’t own any of them. I make it a point to use the library as I tend to only read a book once so I would rather return the book than try to find somewhere in my small house to store it. What is the point of keeping something you’ve already used?

If I want to read it again I can always return to the library. Let them worry about dusting the books and the storage space. Many libraries also offer DVDs, videos, CDs, and even puzzles for loan. Some may have a small fee associated with them (our library charges $2 a week for a video) but it is minimal compared to the cost of buying the item. In fact it is cheaper than renting a video at the shop.

How about setting up a borrowing scheme with your friends and family? I suggest you keep track of the items you loan in a notebook. Be sure to put the date, name of thing you loaned, and the name and phone number of the person who borrowed it. I usually get people to sign for things I loan them. You may even want to put a time limit on the loan to make sure others have a chance to borrow it as well. Books, videos, DVDs, and PlayStation games are very good things to trade with friends as they are infinitely reusable. This saves you the cost of buying new items that you will only use for a brief period or occasionally.

Toy Libraries are popping up in a lot of places nowadays. Some are completely free while others require a small rental fee or deposit to cover their costs. It is a great way to let your kids try out toys before you make an investment in buying them. I find that many times my kids get bored very quickly with a toy they have been begging me to buy. This way you haven’t invested a lot of money (or maybe none at all) to find out that your kids don’t really like the toy.

In the past I’ve borrowed a barbecue and dishes for a party I had as well as snow clothes and gear when our family took a trip to the ski fields 5 years ago. There was no point for us to invest in our own snow gear as we were only going for a few days and didn’t intend to return to the snow anytime soon. I’ve borrowed a car, costumes, movies and books from friends. I’ve loaned my hedge trimmers to the neighbour, a ladder to a friend, shovels to the school, and paint brushes to a relative.

Just make sure you treat anything you’ve borrowed with respect as it isn’t your own property. Therefore you should return it in the same (or better) condition as you received it. You should also make a point of thanking the person you’ve borrowed from, even if you’ve got a reciprocal agreement. It’s always nice to know someone appreciates what you’ve done.

I’d love to hear stories about other borrowing schemes people have set-up. So send me an email or make a comment to let me know how borrowing has saved you.

Samples

Samples are great if you want to try out something before your buy it. A couple evenings a week my local grocery store has stands throughout the shop offering free mouth-size samples of food products. Of course their intention is to get the consumer to immediately buy the product. Often they give out discount coupons as well.

However there are other ways to get free samples. Many websites offer samples when you sign-up to their newsletter. In this way I have received coffee, noodles, cat food, and cereal. Sometimes you can even be bold enough to ask for a free sample. Many companies are quite willing to give a little product away in the hopes of continuing sales.

Recently I received an email telling me I can get a free coffee sample. The interesting thing was the email came from a fashion newsletter! So, you never know who is going to offer something for free or when. If you are interested in a sample of free coffee then check out Barista @ Home. Sign up for a free coffee sample and enter the competitions while you are there!

More samples available online right now are (please note that some of these are for Australian and New Zealand residents only):

Huggies DriNites
Poise Products
Wrigley’s Solano
Life & Leisure magazine
Sustagen
Purina Beneful dog food
Fancy Feast Gourmet Gold dry cat food
LibraGirl starter pack
Marquis Condoms
Resene Testpot
Huggies Little Swimmers
Coffee Break Coffee Bar
Bell tea
So Good trial offer
Calarox
Ethiopian coffee sample
Ecrín Curative Skin Therapy
Chandelier Crystal
Skin Care products
Disinfecting wipes
Olive oil
Tanning lotion
Naturalamb condoms
Purina pet food

Other great places to get samples are “trade” shows. Here in New Zealand there is the annual Parent & Child Show as well as the Royal Easter Show. Of course you have to pay for a ticket to get into the event (unless you win one like I often do) but once inside you can usually get away with buying no food. Have a good look around the venue and you will find many stalls offer free samples of their food. Of course their aim is to get you to buy the product, but if you are clever like me you will simply fill yourself (and your children) up on the free samples all day and not buy anything.

Many times I even have a friendly chat with the vendor and score a bigger sample. My children have even received free small toys because the vendor thought they were cute (it pays to put them in adorable dresses with pony tails!).

I know there are many more free samples available online in the USA, Canada and the UK, so if you live there just do a Google search for samples or go to your favourite website and see if they have anything on offer. Once again, let me know if you find anything worthwhile to share.

Buyer Beware

I’ve been using the FindSomeone online dating service since February. This site has two membership options: Gold and Basic. As a Basic member you have free access to most features however you can not send the first message, so you have to wait for a Gold Member to contact you.

I decided to upgrade to the Gold Membership for one month as there were a couple of men I wanted to chat with. At the end of the month I ended my Gold membership as I could not afford to carry on since I now have car repairs to pay for (see my earlier post).

I thought that I would go back to being a Basic (free) member. So imagine my surprise two days ago when I attempted to respond to some smiles and messages I had received and the following screen appeared on my computer.


The only option I was given was to “choose a plan” and pay more money. I thought this must be some kind of glitch in the program as I just wanted to continue as a free member, like I had been a month before. So I sent a message to the website help desk via their contact page.

A day later I received an email saying “Please note that the Basic status is only available to new members who have not used the site before and who want to have a look around before upgrading to a Gold membership. As you have already become a Gold member this Basic status is no longer available.”

The email ended with this statement “I apologise if this wasn't made clearer on the site when you first entered into the subscription system.” Not only was it not clear, it was not even mentioned when I upgraded to Gold. In fact, as I recall when I became a Gold member there was a notice that said I could change my subscription at any time using the Options feature.

This seems like a scam to me as my profile still exists, so people can view my profile but I cannot respond. I’ve only got two options now – either pay for the Gold Membership which I cannot afford or cancel my membership altogether. Since I cannot use any of the features to communicate with others what is the point of being on their site any longer.

So if you have sent me a smile or message lately, don’t think I am being rude and ignoring you . . . I am unable to respond. I guess I am just destined Not to Find Someone!

Freebies

There are many ways to get things for free. No, I’m not talking about stealing! I mean getting products for nothing, zip, nada, zero. Freebies come in many shapes and sizes – samples, free trials, cash-back, borrowing, giveaways, vouchers, and of course prizes (I mentioned competitions in my last post).

Stay tuned to my blog for tips and stories about getting things for nothing. As the saying goes . . . the best things in life are free . . . and I can show you how true that is!

I sign-up for many different website newsletters so that I can be informed of discounts, freebies, and competitions as well as things of interest – like kid’s school holiday programmes. There are hundreds of thousands of freebies and competitions available online, but only a few are relevant for New Zealand. Being a member of these sites takes the work out of trying to find new comps and wade through the huge lists which appear when using a search engine.

Generally it is free to sign up for a newsletter or online clubs. It is usually very easy to unsubscribe to them as well if you don’t want any more contact with the company. Simply send an email or change your preferences on their website – check the bottom of their email newsletter for details. Just make sure you do it after you receive your freebie, sample or the end of a competition!

I have listed some freebie websites on my blog (to the right) and I will continue to update that link area as I find more sites of interest. Most of the sites listed are New Zealand or Australian, but many times you can find a counterpart for your country. It may be as simple as changing the end of the URL from NZ to COM.

If you come across any more sites of interest for me and my readers let me know in a comment or email. Thanks!

Competitions

As I mentioned in my last post I am addicted to entering competitions. This seems to have become even more of an obsession since I moved to New Zealand. Probably because I have won quite a few prizes and nothing fans the flames of an addiction more than the sweet taste of victory. However, I have to admit I haven’t won the “big one” yet but I do win lots of little things.

To name a few things I have won since moving to New Zealand (I can’t name everything as it would take up too much space): Microwave oven, Nintendo game system with two games (unfortunately this was stolen from our house in Papakura two weeks after we got it, back in 1997), dishes, movie passes, Easter Show tickets, Home Show tickets, Dorothy the Dinosaur Show tickets, $50 voucher for Pumpkin Patch, $40 voucher for NZGirl, books, CDs, DVDs, videos, stationery, LCD monitor, baby products, and so on.

Most of these things I have won in the last few years which is why I can remember them. There are some things I won I didn’t need or couldn’t use, like the Dorothy the Dinosaur Show tickets, so I simply on sold them. I can always use money. I do try to only enter competitions for things I want or need, however with the show tickets I didn’t read the fine print properly and it turned out the show was in the middle of the week when my girls were in school. I couldn’t take them out of school to go to a show in Auckland. However I made another family very happy by selling them the tickets for half the retail price on TradeMe. So it wasn’t a complete loss.

My advice is to read the fine print when entering competitions, even if you don’t think you’ll win. It is those times that you do get the prize.

Last year I had my daughters enter a colouring competition in the hopes that they would be one of the 50 runners up and get a double movie pass. Much to my surprise and my eldest daughter’s delight I got a phone call to say she won the grand prize which we didn’t even know what it was. A few weeks later at school she was presented (literally as it was wrapped like a Christmas gift) by an ASB bank manager a brand new Playstaion 2 console and a Buzz Junior game with controllers. She even got her picture in the local paper. That was a wonderful prize as I couldn’t afford to spend a couple hundred dollars on a game system, especially with my tight Christmas budget at that time.

The amazing thing was the next day a package arrived for my youngest which was a Leapster TV console game system that she had won (I’d entered her name in a mail-in competition). So both my girls had their own TV game systems and I could reclaim the computer, so I thought!

What has really increased my interest in entering competitions is the Internet. Now I can enter lots more competitions for free. In the past it would cost the price of an envelope and a postage stamp, which has just risen to 50¢. Now I can enter virtually hundreds of competitions, however the chances of winning are lessened because there are thousands (possibly hundreds of thousands) of people entering these competitions as well. But even with those odds I still seem to win a few.

My top 10 tips for entering competitions:

1. How many entries can you make? Many competitions only allow one entry per household or email address. However there are some, usually mail-in comps, which allow multiple entries.

2. Do you qualify to win? If you’re doing online competitions check to see if the country you live in qualifies to enter. You can’t rely on the URL to tell you what country the comp is for.

3. Are you prepared to win the major prize? This may sound like a silly question, however you must think about it. Many “trip” prizes are to be taken within a specific time frame, so if you don’t have a passport or cannot take time off work to go, then don’t bother entering the comp.

4. Are you willing to have your name or photo used for promotion? Most companies will print your name and possibly your photo if you are a winner. If you don’t want the publicity, then don’t enter the comp.

5. Don’t get your hopes up. I find that I don’t win the competitions I really want. However it is when I enter a comp and then forget all about it that I get the prize. I don’t know why or how this works, but it does.

6. Don’t enter competitions that charge you money. I’m always wary of comps which require an entry fee. If you aren’t getting something for your money then steer clear.

7. Don’t spend a lot of money on a competition. If you have to buy something to enter a comp then only do it if the product is something you would normally buy. Don’t go out of your way to spend a lot of money just to enter a competition. You will be disappointed in the end.

8. Beware of referral competitions. Many comps will give you extra entries if you refer friends – give out people’s names and addresses. Check that this is okay with your friends first, as no one likes junk mail. However I don’t mind as I can easily delete the email if I’m not interested.

9. Remember to read the fine print. It’s always good to check the rules before entering a competition. Some competitions have age restrictions and time limits. The deadline might be expired or years away, in which case you’ll have a very long wait to see if you win. You may even find that the company will send you emails or letters promoting their product. If you don’t want further contact then don’t enter the comp.

10. And finally, tell others about your wins. If you do win a prize let others know. The company that gave you the prize will benefit from you telling others. I believe it’s a karmic thing – if you share your good news, or even your prize, then good things will continue to happen. I’m hoping giving out these tips will put me in good stead (karmic-wise) to win the “big one”! I’ll keep you informed.

In the future I plan to create a Competitions link area on this blog, so if you know of any good comps let me know. Check back often to see my progress and please let me know if you win anything from my advice or blog.

Saving

I’ve been reading another website, John Chow dot Com, about writing and maintaining blogs. It suggested I add new posts regularly and write about something I am passionate about. So I got to thinking . . . what am I passionate about?

I know what I am good at, and what I like to do, and what I don’t like to do, but passion? I don’t really feel passionate about much these days. So I approached the question in a different way. What do I consistently do that others don’t do?

Yelling at my kids? No, most (possibly all) the mother’s I know yell at their kids. Computer work? No, I am good with computers but I can happily go days without turning one on, if I had my way. Crafts? I do like my crafts and have tried a great variety, but lately I haven’t had the time or energy to do much. Gardening? I was very “in to” my garden a few years ago but I think that was just a way to escape the unhappiness I felt in my marriage.

Then it hit me . . . the one thing I always strive to do . . . in every aspect of my life . . . SAVE! My friends know I save money any way I can, but I’m talking about saving everything: time, money, things, energy, and even the environment.

There you have it – I am passionate about saving things! That doesn’t mean I am a hoarder, although I do have a lot of little pieces of scrap material and wrapping paper that I am sure I’ll find a use for someday. But I do know when to have a good clear out, if only to make way for more stuff.

So besides my ranting about whatever happens to take my fancy at the time I will try to do regular posts about saving. Don’t worry, I won’t be talking about investments or which KiwiSaver provider is the best. There are many other experts on the WWW who can help you with those problems. I will simply let you know ways in which I have saved things.

Being a single mother of two young girls I find lots of ways to get things cheaply or free. I am also addicted to entering competitions, probably because I quite often win (the small prizes, never the really big ones). Sharing my strategies and past experiences on saving would definitely create a lot of posts and hopefully you will benefit from reading them as well.

In fact, if you have any good ideas or stories to tell about any great deals you have gotten or anything about saving please let me know either in a comment or an email. Who knows, if your story is good I might just post it here!

Tagging

This afternoon I walked down the hill to post an item I had sold on TradeMe and I noticed the doors to my front garage had been tagged (graffiti for those Americans reading this). I don’t know why they call it tagging in this country. If someone can explain that to me, please do.

Anyway, it was disappointing to see as I live far away from the centre of town in the start of the rural area of Tuakau. There is no footpath in front of my property and there are only a handful of houses around here. The only way for someone to be in the front of my garage is if they had stopped in a car.

As I walked down the hill, about 2.5 km, to the centre of town I noticed I was not the only one that had been tagged. There was little spray paint signatures dotted here and there. There was no real pattern to what had been tagged. Some fences went unscathed while the "for sale" signs in front of one property were completely defaced.

I don’t understand why boys do this. I know I am jumping to a conclusion assuming it was boys, but you don’t usually see groups (or should I call them gangs) of girls loitering around like they are up to no good.

Graffiti is just plain destructive. I don’t see what the culprit gets out of the action. You can’t even understand what is written. Is it sloppy handwriting or just some sort of code? Maybe it is simply misspelling, which I would equate to the lack of education these hoodlums must have. They certainly haven’t learned to respect other people’s property.

Fortunately it is an old garage – the original single-garage that was built with the house in the 1950s. I use it for storage of firewood and some garden tools as it isn’t very secure. So I am not too upset as the doors are old and shabby. But I didn’t want to give these brats free advertising so when I returned home I got out the turpentine and wiped the silver paint away. I was surprised at how easy it was to clean up and that the original brown paint of the doors was intact.

I know it is the school holidays and lots of children are at home unsupervised, but I would think they could find something better to do with their time than deface property. And what are children doing out after dark, not to mention where do they get the money to waste on spray paint? In this country spray paint can only be sold to people 18 years or older, which would imply that older kids are doing this or getting the paint for the younger ones. Now if I were a store owner and a teenager came in to buy spray paint I would give them the 3rd degree. What are you buying this for? I would act curious as to what project the kid was working on and hopefully arouse enough guilt in them to prevent the sale.

A couple years ago during the Christmas school holidays I noticed that two of the 10 solar garden lights I had lining my driveway were missing. I called the police and they simply said lots of kids are causing trouble at night because of the school holidays. They didn’t even bother to take my name or address. That night the other 8 lights went missing. This meant the thieves had to walk the entire length of my driveway along the side of my house to steal them. If the police had bothered to drive by they may have caught the kids.

I didn’t feel very safe after that, so a week later I had an electrician install sensor security lights at the front and side of my house. Of course there was nothing left for the little buggers to steal, but I didn’t like the idea that someone was walking around my property at night. On the good side, the lights are a good security to me when I arrive home after dark. However the garage doors that got tagged are out of the range of the light’s sensor.

I just hope the boys ran out of spray paint and don’t return. It could be much more trouble and expense for me it they tag something else!

Time Flies

I can’t believe I’ve gone a whole month without adding to my blog. Shame on me! Even more unbelievable is that half the year is gone!! Where did it go?

In June I was sick with the dreaded cough/sore throat thing that lingers on. Everyone I talked to either had it or knew someone who had. They always said the same thing – it last for weeks and is worse at night. I still cough now, but I think it is more out of habit than real sickness.

June also brought a lot of activity with the end-of-term wrap up plus lots of birthdays. Last week I was out every night. Too bad the weather finally decided to turn wintry cold and wet. That made the nights out even more unbearable – coming home to a cold house and being too late at night to start a fire. I would just jump in bed and turn the electric blanket on.

It is the start of the two-week school holidays here in New Zealand. Yippee! Except now I have to figure out how to entertain my girls for two whole weeks. Right now they are with their dad and he plans to have them several times this week as he is on vacation. If the weather continues to be wet and miserable I anticipate a lot of indoor activities and some very strained nerves. But here’s hoping my girls decide to play nicely and be little angels for two weeks. Ah yes, I’m in dreamland again!

This week I am definitely staying home as my car is at the mechanics undergoing serious “head” repairs. I only hope it isn’t as bad as they think once they open her up. I can’t really afford to fix the old girl, but I love my car and can afford even less to replace her right now. So I am crossing my fingers for a good outcome, meanwhile I am on the look-out for ways to make some extra cash.

I have already put a lot of things on TradeMe and will do a tidy up around the house to find any more “junk” that I can turn into someone else’s “treasure.” I think online auctions are the best invention. I always use them to compare prices and get bargains. It’s a great way to do a spring clean without the hassles of a garage sale. Sometimes I am amazed at what sells and what doesn’t, but it is so easy to just click relist when the auction ends without a buyer.

I’ve discovered a new way to supposedly earn some money – affiliate programs. My friend told me about the great deals at the Fishpond website so I had a look and found the affiliate link. So now I have signed up and have put a link here on my blog page. So click on it to get great bargains on books, movies and music and I’ll get a little kickback as well if you buy anything. I will find other affiliate programs and put links on here, so come back often to see what is new. You’ve got nothing to lose as you still get the same price for your products while helping me pay for my car repairs!

I’ve been wondering how the companies can afford to offer these kickbacks. What is the real cost for these products? I was a Tupperware dealer for many years and often when I told people about it, especially men, they would claim it was a multi-level marketing company. But it isn’t as all the dealers get the product at the same price and you don’t have people working “below” you unless you are a manager. You don’t need to recruit people, who recruit more people, who recruit more people, in order to earn any money. A dealer receives a one-time gift for each new recruit; there is no on-going payback.

Pyramid schemes never made sense to me. If the company is willing to pay out so much money to the higher levels based on how the lower levels sell, then what is the actual cost of the product? No wonder the products sold in that way are so expensive. It isn’t because of quality it is simply because too many people have their fingers in the pie.

I think everyone would be better off if they simply offered the product to the general public at a “normal” price as determined by supply and demand. Making something more expensive doesn’t mean its better; it simply means fewer people can have it. And in the end it is the low-income people that lose out.

I don’t know if promoting other websites on my blog will earn me any money, but it isn’t costing me any money to do it. I am of the mindset that you don’t have to spend money to earn money. I have always strived to work smarter, not harder. That doesn’t mean I don’t like hard work, but why should I work hard if I can avoid it.

When I investigated Mystery Shopping four years ago I found lots of websites, mainly American ones, advertising “Secret Shopper” jobs but the catch was you had to pay for the list of companies that wanted shoppers. So once again there was another scheme going on. The websites were selling information which should be free and could be if the individual did enough research. Paying for the list didn’t guarantee that the individual would get any mystery shops.

That’s why I avoided those websites. I only signed up with a company that didn’t ask for any money. I simply filled out a form online, chatted on the phone to someone, and next thing I knew it I was an employee. To date I have never even met the people I work for! I think that shows the power of the internet – that I could work for a company for over 4 years and never even meet any of the other employees. So I believe there are legitimate ways to make money online, but sometimes it takes a little digging to find the right ones.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress with earning money through affiliate programs, just keep on clicking!

Are you listening?

Today I sat on my back porch enjoying the late morning sun, reading the Lipstick Jungle book. A couple characters in the book are having trouble and choose to be juvenile instead of talking with each other about how they feel. So I began wondering why do people have so much trouble communicating with each other?

I’m not talking about communication in the literal sense – in this day and age it is very easy to communicate through telephone, letters, emails, magazines, books, newspapers, television, blogs, and the list goes on. But what about real one-on-one, the other person truly understands what you are saying communication?

A friend of mine went through marriage counselling many years ago and she told me that the counsellor gave her and her husband “tools” for communication. They were supposed to look each other in the eye when they spoke, not interrupt each other, and before they could responded they needed to say something like “What I heard you say was . . .” and repeat what the other person said. By doing this each person would know whether they were heard correctly. But can you imagine going through life doing that? It would turn every conversation into a marathon. And just because you hear what was said doesn’t mean you understand it.

Most people indicate that they have, or have not, listened by their actions. I think anyone with children would know exactly what I mean. I hear my mother’s voice come out of my throat when I find myself saying to one of my daughters, “Now tell me what I just said.” That technique works well if I am trying to create a parrot. I’ve now modified my words to “Did you hear me?” Of course anyone can claim they have heard what you said and even repeat it back when pressed, but that doesn’t mean they were listening.

So how do you know if someone is listening to you or not? I’ve tried the look-them-in-the-eye method, which gives the impression of a receptive person, however I tend to stop talking when I see the glazed over eyes looking beyond me trying to watch the TV or anything else which catches their attention. Most times I just give up. If they are not listening what is the point of talking?

It seems listening is a lost art. I am just as guilty as the next person, but my reasons are not distraction. I find I don’t listen to someone when I am busy or they are just saying something I don’t want to hear. I used to walk away from my ex-husband while he was telling me something as I just had too many things to do and just didn’t have time to sit down and listen to him. I tried to be polite and say things like “Keep talking, I can hear you, I’ve just got to do . . .” or pretend I was Japanese and repeat the words “yes” and “un-huh” over and over to indicate I was interested.

Lately I’ve found communication problems outside my home. Recently I was working with some network and IT personnel to fix problems for one of my computer clients. I thought all three of us were on the same page but their actions told me otherwise. I had to repeat myself so many times that it became frustrating. I even asked if they understood what I was saying, and they became “Japanese” on me! It wasn’t until I started drawing a diagram of exactly what I meant that we came to an understanding and could move forward with the project.

It’s events like these that make me wonder if anyone really listens to people. Have I been going my whole life saying something and assuming people knew what I meant but they haven’t? That’s a scary thought. Am I speaking a different language? Sometimes I think so.

Why do so many people not listen? Are we too busy in our lives to have time to listen to others? Do we feel we already know everything so we don’t need anyone else’s opinions? If so, what’s the point of talking? If there is no one listening then do we still make a sound?

I think it is a basic human nature to talk. We have a compelling need to use words to express ourselves, whether someone cares to hear us or not. The proof is all around us: millions of books, thousands of television shows, and billions of people using the internet to express themselves every day.

So how can we tell if we are understood and does it really matter? For me the proof of understanding comes from action. This could be a verbal response which adds to or contradicts what I have said. Maybe an act that shows me that I was heard. Sometimes inaction indicates understanding.

I think it does matter, as it is when we aren’t understood that problems arise. We don’t live solitary lives (maybe a few people do) and we need others to survive. So that is why I think listening and understanding are important. That doesn’t mean I will always be understood and I understand and accept that, but if you find me walking away from you saying “I’m listening” you might want to save your breath and just shut up.

Girlfriends

I began reading the Lipstick Jungle book I mentioned in a previous post. It took me a while to get into this book as I was turned off by the Sex and the City book by the same author. However, even though this book is still about women, New York and sex, it is written differently. The characters are well defined powerful business women who share their successes and failures. So far (I’m only on chapter 3) the underlining theme of this book is the same as the other one – friendship between women.

There is one line I’ve read that I believe sums this up very well . . . “Her relationship with her girlfriends was invaluable, because it was only with women that you could really be vulnerable – you could ask for a pat on the back, without worrying about being seen as hopelessly insecure.” I think this shows the underlying difference between men and women. We need friends to tell (or in my case, write down) our thoughts and feelings in order to understand ourselves better. We don’t expect empathy, we don’t want advice, we don’t want the other person to solve our problems, we just want to express what is inside. Then we can really deal with the situation – see it for what it is.

I don’t think men get this, at least most men. They try to tell you what to do to fix the problem or tell you what you did wrong or how they would have handled it differently. That is why women (or at least myself) don’t express their inner thoughts and feelings to men easily. It becomes too frustrating because the man tries to be the “hero.” We don’t need someone to rescue us, we just need someone to really listen so we can rescue ourselves. My girlfriends are the most valuable people in my life, even though many of them are thousands of miles away. I know that there is an instant bond when we talk, whether it has been a few days, months or years. There is a true understanding among women.

It is good to read about powerful women taking control of their lives and being status figures. The characters of this book are very fascinating with their high-powered jobs and stressful lives. Even though these are just fictitious women I admire their audacity to go after what they want, but I don’t share their drive. One of the characters is a fashion designer who’s livelihood depends on what the critics think of her seasonal collection. I could never do that because I have always had no concern for what other people think of me.

I have felt from a young age that the only opinion of me that matters is my own. Maybe that’s because I have a high self-esteem, maybe I just figured out life at an early age, or maybe I just didn’t like the opinions of others so I established my own. I don’t know why, but I feel that you should only be concerned about what you think of yourself. I strive to do things to please myself not others. That isn’t to say that I am selfish and not a giving person – just the opposite. I feel giving of myself is a very worthwhile thing – not because of what people think about me but because of how I feel. So I would have to agree that I am selfish, but in a good way.

The way I see things, it doesn’t matter what others think of me as people come and go but at the end of the day you are left with only yourself. If you don’t love and respect yourself then you can’t do the same for others and you certainly can’t expect anyone else to feel the same about you. I remind myself daily that the only constant thing in the universe is change. That may sound crazy, but just think about it. Every second of the day brings change, sometimes big and sometimes small, but one moment is never the same as another.

I take comfort in knowing that, especially in sad times. When the world gets me down I remember that it is only for a moment in time and that each second brings about something different. I like change and feel bored and frustrated if there isn’t something new and challenging in my life. I can’t handle the monotonous daily grind that some people call their lives. That’s not to say I need something exciting happening every day. Sometimes simply sitting on my back porch watching the birds is enough excitement for me. Admiring the simple things is just as important as experiencing the big things in life.

Take time to smell the roses, respect and love yourself, and talk with your girlfriends. Remember, a good friend is like a good bra – hard to find, supportive, comfortable, lifts you up, never lets you down or leaves you hanging and is always close to your heart!

Happy Mother's Day!

This presentation says it all . . .

Tests – Do they really tell you anything about yourself?

The other day I stumbled across an IQ test online – some link from another website. Anyway, I was curious to see what the results would be. Nothing surprising – I have an above average IQ. But who says so? How can they really determine a person's intelligence from a few random questions? And what does it matter? It seems like a judgement call to me. Does it really make me smarter (or more superior) to the next guy just because they asked me questions which I happened to know the answer?

I've watched the Who Wants to be a Millionaire show a few times and sometimes I wonder where they get the questions and more so where do they get some of those contestants? I find I struggle with what appears to be easy questions for some and the ones I find easy many people use up all their lifelines on. I think what makes one person "smarter" than the next is experience. You could spend your whole life with your nose in books and still not really know anything.

I'm one of those people who has always done well at school – I got top marks and was the valedictorian at my college graduation – but I wouldn't consider myself smarter than the next guy. However I do think I have more understanding than most because of my life experiences. When I finished high school I decided not to go to University, mainly because I knew my family couldn't afford it and because I figured that in the time it would take me to get a University degree I could work my way up to the same level in a business. What compelled me to go back to school at the age that most people were graduating was the desire for new experiences.

I’d become bored with my mundane existence. Working 8 hours a day just to make it to the weekend and then starting all over again. Where’s the fun and challenge in that? I can’t handle the ordinary and predictable. Although when life gets busy and crazy I do long for something more manageable.

Now that I am a mother I know that my life will never be ordinary or predictable again. I feel that it’s the people in your life that make you smarter. Facing challenges and having new experiences is what sets us apart from each other. The differences are things we should cherish and embrace. Tests seem to have an underlying theme – trying to get people to be the same. I don’t believe many people would be satisfied with their results. It is a comparison of you to a standard set by an establishment. And who sets these standards? Those that think they are smarter than you.

I don’t agree with the results of these tests but they do make for a good laugh. Check them out . . . if you can handle the results. http://web.tickle.com/tests/

Friendship

I’ve just finished reading the book Sex and the City. I’ve been meaning to read this book for a long time as I loved the TV series, however I can’t say the same for the book. I almost put the book down before I had finished the first chapter as I didn’t like the writing style. It seemed very disjointed. I persevered as I thought it might get better, but it didn’t. I was surprised as I’ve heard a lot of rave reviews about Candace Bushnell’s books so I thought I would like it.

The book was mainly about women in their 30s trying to find a husband in New York. They spent most of their time spending money, drinking, doing drugs and doing men. It seemed pointless and depressing to me. Maybe I didn’t like it because I couldn’t relate to the characters. In my 30s I was married with children. I struggled with my identity as a mother alone in a foreign country. Now, in my 40s, I have entered a new phase of my life as a single mother in what is no longer a foreign country to me. I feel much more comfortable with my life now. I don’t know why, but from a young age I knew I would be a single mother. I guess I didn’t think I would find a man that would be my equal whom I would want to spend the rest of my life with, so I could only see myself as a single mother.

What I liked about the TV series, which does not show up in the book, was the closeness of the friendship between the four main characters. I wasn’t interested in their glamorous lifestyle or the many men they slept with. What made me interested was watching the friendships develop. I wish I had that same closeness with the friends in my life now. I find it hard to develop such friendships, maybe because I am too honest and don’t play the mind games that so many people play. Many times I don’t allow people to really get to know me as I don’t feel they want to.

I do have some “old” friends who I cherish, however it is difficult as they live in other countries. The internet makes it easier for us to keep in touch, but it’s not the same as spending time with someone. I blame myself for not having close friends like those portrayed by Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha. When I was 18 I moved to Hawaii and away from the friends I had made at school. I continued to move every few years. Many of those friendships fell by the wayside due to lack of contact. Fortunately I have a couple friends who have forgiven my lack of communication (and I theirs) over the years and we still keep in touch. My best friend and I have known each other since we were 9 years old. We have been through a lot in our lives, tough times and good.

I think that’s what makes a good friend – someone who stands by you no matter what. Most people find out who their friends really are when things go wrong in their lives. I discovered this a few years ago when I separated from my husband. I sent an email out to friends and family and was pleasantly surprised at all the messages of support I received. Some of those people hadn’t contacted me in years, but in my “time of need” they let me know they cared. That is what real friendship is about – accepting a person for who they are and not trying to make them fit into what you want or need in your life.

I now have Candace Bushnell’s Lipstick Jungle which I will attempt next. However if it reads like Sex and the City I may not make it through the first chapter. I’ll let you know.

The Modern-Day 'Birds and the Bees'

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers: "Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

You've Got Male!

Mystery Shopping

Today I did five Mystery Shops. I’ve been in this business for four years now, and I first started as a way to have some extra income during my marriage. Now I don’t need the money as much and do it more for the entertainment. I like playing the role of a “customer” and making up stories as to why I want to buy a lawnmower or change my mobile phone provider. I am a people watcher at heart. I could sit for hours in a café and just watch the world go past, making up stories in my head for what might be going on in the lives of the strangers I see walk by. So Mystery Shopping allows me to act out the fantasy of someone who has disposable income.

Today I thought about the products and the people who buy them. My last two Mystery Shops were for items I could never justify buying simply because of the cost. And I wondered, why do people pay such high prices for things they don’t need?

At one store I had to try on a few business suits, pretending I worked in a corporate office. To look the part I wore the only black suit I have which is several years old (from when I was a Tupperware manager). I was a bit embarrassed to see how out-dated my attire was, but it made for a good cover story.

I tried on a couple suits and was pleasantly surprised that I fit a size 8 slack (for my American readers that is equivalent to a size 2, I believe). The odd thing was the size 10 (US4) jacket was rather tight around my shoulders. I always thought the hips got bigger after having children, not the shoulders! Unfortunately the first outfit I liked didn’t look as nice on me as it did on the headless manikin.

Before I tried the clothes on I instinctively looked at the price tag. I knew I wasn’t going to buy anything so price didn’t matter, but old habits die hard. I was amazed that the cheapest pants cost $100 and the jackets were $150 and upwards. Now to some people that may sound reasonable for a business suit, but I don’t think I spend that much on clothes in a year! I know there are people who spend thousands of dollars on designer suits, but I just don’t get it. Does a $2,000 suit fit any better than a $200 one or even a $50 suit in the same style? I know it all comes down to how it feels – not the way the suit feels on but the way the suit makes you feel about yourself. I did like the way one of the suits looked on me and the style was very flattering, but I would feel guilty every time I wore it if I had paid that much.

I know I am probably in the minority of shoppers to think those prices are outrageous. However even if I had the money to spend I don’t think I could do it. Material things just aren’t that important to me. It’s all about the packaging, not just products but the way people package themselves. I’ve never liked overly and ambiguously packaged products and I feel the same about people. It is what’s inside the package that ultimately counts. That’s what you will be dealing with, be it a product or a person.

The next shop I went to was a pharmacy. I had to pretend to be interested in a Christian Dior product. I felt a bit foolish as I wasn’t sure what a Christian Dior product was . . . okay you can stop laughing at me now! So I casually walked around the shop to try and spot something with the CD name on it. I saw a photo of Sharon Stone’s face and the name Christian Dior splattered across the bottom. There was no product on the picture, but it was in front of a display of bottles.

I curiously picked up one container and turned it all around to try and figure out what it was. There was a brand name on it along with some subtitle, as it were, but I still didn’t know what it was. I assumed from the photo of Sharon Stone that it must be some sort of face cream or cleanser. Fortunately the saleslady saw me and came over to help – my Mystery Shop had begun. She told me a bit about the product and that it would make my fine lines and blemished ultimately disappear. Sounded good to me! It’s supposed to make me look at least 20 years younger. But then my package wouldn’t reflect the 41 year old inside! Is that what women want? To display themselves as different from whom they really are? Does it really matter how we look? I wondered if women buy this product because they want it or because their partner thinks they should look younger or better.

After I politely listened to the explanation about the product and even let the saleslady put a sample on the back of my hand so I could “feel how soft it was” (I wouldn’t expect a liquid to feel hard, but I was there to observe not to criticise), I asked the price. I knew it would be expensive as there were no prices on any of the boxes or on the display. A sure sign that the product costs far more than most people are willing to pay. I think the motivation behind not displaying a price is that the salesperson gets people to try a sample and convince them of the value for money before they shock them with the cost. And shocked I was, although for the purposes of the Mystery Shop I had to pretend that I would pay that outrageous price.

How much was it, you say? Well I was told 228 for the one product. I noticed the saleslady conveniently left out the word “dollars” when quoting the price. Of course I would also need a night-time cream which was about the same price. Then there was the eye cream which I had not sampled that cost over $100. All up it would cost over $500 for this face treatment. And the good news was the bottles of product would last about five months!

After I left the store and regained my composure, I got to thinking why someone would spend over $1,000 a year for some facial cream. What ingredient is in this stuff that justifies charging so much money? Are people simply paying for a brand name? I then had a look at the little information page which came in the free samples I was given. Yes, I accepted free samples. I think I will save them for a time when I want to look extra special. Although I don’t know how long a 3 ml tube with last or if it will be enough to make a difference?

Anyway, the information sheet (which was written in 9 languages) had three large paragraphs explaining, I think, what the product was. Although I am not too convinced that a statement like “This revitalizing botanical extract has the capacity to reinforce the effectiveness of the corrective ingredients with which it is combined” means anything. There were large, scientific (and made-up I believe) words used throughout the sheet.

I then discovered how they can justify the high price. It seems that the vital ingredient in this product is “a rare plant extract from a primitive plant called Longoza, which grows only in Madagascar.” Now that is what the salesperson should have said to explain why it is so expensive. Destroying a plant in Madagascar is certainly worth my $500! I would think that in this day and age a man-made ingredient could be used, or even better, create the ideal growing conditions for the plant in the factory. That way the rainforests are saved and the price could be reduced. Because, surely, if this product does everything they say it can then all the women of the world would be lining up to buy it. Or would we?

Why there is no manual for being a parent

About 2AM this morning I heard a faint cry for help coming from my daughters’ bedroom. I stumbled in there in the dark and asked what was wrong, thinking she had a nightmare or fell out of bed. Her reply was “I threw up.” I calmly asked where, and she said “In my hands.” So then I turned on the lights to discover that her hands had not contained the mess. Why do children always throw up in bed at night on their pillows? Pillows are the hardest things to wash and the smell never goes away!

I then had the daunting task of cleaning up the mess. It was made more difficult by the fact my daughter was on the opposite side of the bed which is a top bunk. If you have ever had the privilege of making a bunk bed you will appreciate the difficultly I faced when trying to remove the bottom sheet without spilling any of the mess on the floor or her sleeping sister below.

My youngest awoke in the midst of the mayhem and I quickly told her it was the middle of the night and she should go back to sleep. To my pleasant surprise she did! I just wish she was so obedient during the day.

As I was cleaning up the mess I thought, no wonder there is no instruction manual for being a parent. Who, in their right mind, would ever take on such a task if they knew everything they were in for? Fortunately I had managed to have a couple hours sleep before being woken to this disgusting task. In fact, I was partially awake when the call for help came. You know, when you are dreaming and just awake enough to participate in your dream. No, I was not having that type of dream. If I was then I would have been very cranky when I woke up!

As I rinsed the sheets and pillows in the bath, I got to think that maybe I should write an instruction manual for parents. Not a nice pleasant or scientific one, but a true to life, warts and all, type of book. I could have “do’s” and “don’ts” and tips in the manual. Maybe even a quick reference page for those emergencies, like what to do when your daughter pushes a cotton swab too far into her ear. There could be a section for how to stay calm or overcome anger (as if I know how to do either).

I read a book during my first pregnancy (I don’t recall the name) which told it like it was. No pleasantries about being pregnant. The author (a woman of course) wrote down everything that women go through in a seriously funny way. I think parents need something like that. Maybe that type of book already exists. I’ll have to check the library to see, however I think I might be able to write something. How’s the title The Joys of Being a Parent sound?

World Famous in New Zealand

I don't usually read the local paper, as I am too busy with my life to pay attention to what is happening around me. However a friend told me this morning that my picture was in the Franklin County News, so I had to have a look. This is the second time my family has been in a newspaper this year. I was pleasantly surprised to find I am young again!

A Prayer

Dear Lord,

So far today, I am doing all right.

I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish,or self-indulgent. I have not whined, complained, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have charged nothing on my credit card.

But I will be getting out of bed in a minute, and I think that I will really need your help then!

Grizzlies, Here I Come!

After having a rough start to the day due to emotional and inconsiderate children I longed for the future. I don't know who wrote the following, but it sums up how I feel right now.

Gonna Be A Bear

In this life I'm a woman. In my next life, I'd like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear!

Another Poem From England

Timetable of the Do-It-All Woman

Through time
In time
On time
No time.

Everytime
Anytime
Sometime
No time.

What time?
Free time?
Play time?
No time.

Full time
Part time
Me time?
No time.

Your time
You time
Me time?
No time.

Special time
Snatched time
Me time
No time.

Life time
Dream time
Me time?
No time.

by Rita Sherriff-Hammond

Why Mother’s Day Exists

My youngest daughter was away last night for a Pippin Overnighter and earned several new Girl Guiding badges. I sewed the badges onto her pop-over and went so far as to sew her name on it as well with a lovely blue thread (her favourite colour). When I called her in to see what I had done I did not get the reaction I expected. Instead of being delighted and grateful she complained because she wanted to sew the badges on herself and she didn’t even care that I had put her name on the uniform. She said the name felt bumpy and she didn’t like it. She insisted that I take the badges off immediately so she could sew them on sometime in the future. She is only 5 years old and doesn’t even know how to sew!

As she left my bedroom to finish watching a DVD, I realised why Mother’s Day was created. It is the one day of the year that the ungrateful and inconsiderate children of the world show a little love and respect to their mothers. They should remember that if it weren’t for us mothers they would never exist! I would much prefer my children appreciate what I do on a daily basis instead of realising how special I am once a year. It is so draining to get such negative feedback to what I thought was a loving gesture.

I don’t want to be woken up early on a Sunday morning with burnt toast, horrible coffee and gifts that I don’t need and then have to go into the kitchen to clean up the mess which was made in the name of Mother’s Day. My ideal Mother’s Day is one without any children or any chores. A day when I am not breaking up fights, cleaning up messes, teaching lessons, yelling or being yelled at, and feeding everyone but myself. I would love to wake up late on Mother’s Day to a champagne brunch being served to me in bed by a handsome man who did not leave a mess in the kitchen!

I can dream, can’t I?

So Much To Say

A friend of mine in England read my first post and sent me this poem she wrote. I liked it so much I asked her permission to share it on my blog. Hope you enjoy it as well.

You’ve So Much To Say

He says, ‘You’ve so much to say.’
She smiles and fears,
‘Who wants to hear the
torrent of terror?
Who wants to plunge into the volcano
and be consumed
by my all devouring need?’
She feels,
‘But I have moved mountains.
I have clawed myself up
out of the cavernous gorge.
I have crossed the abyss
dancing on a rainbow bridge.
I have drained dams
to quench my all consuming
thirst for life
in all its extremities.
And I have given of myself
generously, willingly
To assuage my guilt
To justify my existence
To become visible
To myself.’
In reply she says,
‘It’s nothing new, it’s all been said before.’
But secretly, she hopes it hasn’t.

written by Rita Sherriff-Hammond

Why should I pay to make someone’s job easier?

Warning: Explicit medical talk about female genitalia. Do not read any further if you are squeamish.

Part of the reason I treated myself to a movie today (see the post below) was to forget how the day started. I had a cervical smear. This is one of those necessary events that women do not look forward to. To those men reading this, think of having a prostate exam and you’ll have some understanding. No matter how secure I am with my sexuality I can’t help feeling uncomfortable having a woman sticking things inside my vagina.

But before the procedure happened I was informed that I could pay $21 for a Thin Prep test. Being frugal I was not about to part with money before I knew all the facts. So I asked what a Thin Prep test was and how it differed from a normal test. I was told that the normal test, which the New Zealand government pays for, consists of taking a sample of my cervical cells and smearing it on a slide. The cells for a Thin Prep test, which I would have to pay for, are put into liquid and sent to the lab. The liquid is then spun at high speed to remove unnecessary things, like blood and mucus. All that is left are the cells which are then examined for abnormalities. This test is better because the cells are easily viewed, whereas the normal test is more difficult since blood and mucus on the slide can obscure the cervical cells.

I made the comment to the nurse that as I understood it I was being asked to pay for a procedure that made things easier for the testing lab. She agreed with my statement and we both wondered why the government wasn’t funding the Thin Prep test. I don’t know what it costs for the traditional slide method of testing, but if this new form of testing is faster and more accurate wouldn’t it make sense that it would save money by freeing up time and resources at the testing lab?

I decided to pay the extra $21 for the Thin Prep test because I don’t trust the traditional method any more due to the Gisborne cervical smear mess-up in the 1990s. I’m surprised the New Zealand Government doesn’t fund this new test regardless of the cost. It would make sense to pay for a procedure that may protect them against another scandal and lawsuits. You would think they would learn from the past.

Maybe they don’t have any money left for funding and have decided to pass the buck. Maybe they feel that if they put the decision and cost of testing onto the women that if another screw-up happens they can blame it on the women who did not spend the extra $21. I think a government should do all it can to protect its residents – those people who vote and pay for the government to exist.

However now that my test is done, hopefully I won’t have to do it again for at least three years. I’m crossing my fingers that the lab reads the results correctly!

Do Women Have A Mid-Life Crisis?

I went to the movies today, which is a rarity for me as the cost to go to the movies is unbelievable. I’m not just talking the price of the ticket, but the cost for petrol to get to the theatre (the closest one to me is 40 km away), and the price for a snack while you are there. I can’t sit through a movie without popcorn and a coke! I had a free movie ticket which was to expire in 4 days and being the frugal type I decided I must use it.

I saw the movie Wild Hogs which is a story about four men in their late 40s who form a motorcycle gang in suburban Ohio. One decides that they need to go on a road trip to California to become “real” bikers. Basically the four are having a mid-life crisis as they are unsatisfied with the way their lives have ended up. Most of the movie was predictable and the four “posers” became heroes in the end and overcame the real problems they were having with their lives.

I went to see this particular movie because it starred John Travolta . . . need I say more? For those wondering, yes he did dance in this movie, but unfortunately it was with a man! Sexy, none the less.

Having watched this movie and many other similar ones over the years, I got to thinking do women have a mid-life crisis? Do we ever wish to relive our youth and go back to “better” days? I don’t think so. I believe if you asked most women they wouldn’t want to go back to how they were in their teens or twenties. Yes, we were younger. Yes, we were probably better looking. I know my belly saw better days before I had children. But to go back to being naïve and shy and unsure about where you fit in the world, I think not.

Life was different back then, but I wouldn’t glorify it. I have learned so much through the many experiences I have had over the years. The people I’ve met and the places I’ve gone have taught me more than I could have ever imagined. I believe I know myself so much better now. There is nothing I did in my youth that I would like to relive. I don’t need to be the star of the sports team, or the coolest kid at school, or drive the hottest car. I don’t understand why men seem to need that type of reassurance. Why do they need to relive past victories? Do we view change differently? It seems that men become stagnant and set in their ways, whereas women seem to grow and develop over time.

Of course I am not speaking on behalf of all women (no one can do that) and I am not talking about all men (I have met some very interesting men in my time) but it seems that some men, as depicted in movies, go through a time of dissatisfaction with their lives. So I was just wondering why? I don’t know the answer, but I do know it makes for some funny movies!